How can I help my Teen who is self-harming?
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is any activity that puts the body or mind in harm’s way. There are many ways that teenagers harm themselves.
Many teens express different reasons why they self-harm including expressing something that is hard to put into words, changing emotional pain into physical pain, punishing themselves, and expressing suicidal thoughts.
After self-harming it is common to feel a short-term release but self-harming will not help the cause of your pain to go away.
Ways that people self-harm include:
Biting
Cutting
Poisioning
Over or undereating
Pulling Hair
Having unsafe sex
Purposely getting into fights
Burning of the skin
Picking or scratching the skin
Hitting self or walls
Abuse of alcohol or prescription drugs
What are warning signs I should look out for:
Dressing inappropriately for the weather, wearing long sleeves or hoodies in the summer.
Depressive moods
Unexplained injuries
Irritability or angry outburst
Isolation
Sudden poor functioning in school work or at home.
Lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
What are some things I can do to help my Teenager who is self-harming?
Validate their feelings- Teenagers who are self-harming are experiencing discomfort and pain. Telling them that you see that they are hurt and that you want to help them is a great way to start your child’s healing journey.
Express to them your concern- Let your teen know that you care about them and their wellbeing. You want them to feel that you care, not that you are punishing. Most teens who self-harm feel that nobody cares about them. Expressing to them that you are concerned about how they are managing their pain in an unhealthy and that you want to help them learn healthier ways to express and manage their emotions.
Remain calm and open- It can be upsetting to find out that your teenager is self-harming, however, getting angry with your teen will only cause them to shut down and not open up to you about what is causing them to self-harm. Remain open to hearing their emotions and concerns without judging them or minimizing their feelings.
Discuss their options- Once you have discovered that your teen is self-harming it is important to consider your teen’s treatment options. Educate them about healthy ways they can deal with these feelings and remind them that you are available to speak to them when needed. Offer your child the opportunity to speak to a professional counselor or attend group counseling.
